And now I know what this is all about...

I only just survived getting away from Chio. She came after me with a knife a few days ago, and...
No doubt about it. She was that floating girl who was watching me every night. She looked exactly the same once her hair fell over her eyes.

I escaped to the only place I could think of. The Asylum.

I started heading for Konstantin's cell. As I passed Kana's room, she started banging on the door screaming. Guess I'm just not good with women.

When I finally got there, my brother seemed to know I was coming. "Sit down, we have a lot to talk about."

I hate this.

I hate this so damn much. I don't know what to do anymore, so I just sit on the loo reading. I've been especially trapped in a book called House of Leaves in recent days. All day, all night, only coming out to eat and sleep. I've been sitting on my throne of excrement for so long, the toilet seat bites marks into the backs of my legs, and cuts off the circulation. I scream every time I walk. Not because I feel pain, but because the numbness in my legs just shoots up and down my ankles, like needles that never pierce the skin. I can't describe it as anything other than an unbearable pain... without pain.

Chio's been worried about me. "Ammy-kun! Are you okay? Please come out!" It makes me feel bad that I'm worrying her so, but... Nothing would change. Inside or outside the bathroom, I'm still trapped in this horrible nightmare.

I hate this. I hate it all. I hate not knowing how to confront my fears, having to run away all the time, and... Most importantly, I HATE that girl outside my window every night.

I've shot her before. Or, at least I thought I did. Every single bullet, fired at point blan range, end up in the tree behind her.

The next morning, I woke up with a full clip.

One day, I lunged on her, threw her across the room, and clawed out her throat.

The next morning, there wasn't a single stain of blood on the floor. And she came the next night, anyway.

One night, I gave up trying to kill her, and just asked her what the hell she wanted.

She mouthed out the words "Why have you forgotten me?", with tears in her eyes. For once, she looked more pitiful than menacing.

...

Am I going insane? Is this what it's like in Mahkra Asylum?

I don't know why, but I feel like I need to go back there. I keep telling myself that, even though I may die, ANYTHING is better than this, but... To die and leave Chio behind...

A new year, but that's all that's different.

7. 7 of them. All seven, dead.

Friends, strangers... Anyone who'd let me move in with them, anyone who'd give me shelter from whatever murderer or beast or curse is following me.

I'm more pissed off than scared now. At these murders, at that girl who watches me at night, at my life. I'd like nothing more right now that to break something, to destroy. I'd like nothing more right now just to put my foot through something, be it a wall or a window or a table or a person, and just hear it crack.

Look at this place I'm in. Never before have I realized just how fragile the world is. These windows? I'm sure they'd make the most delectable shattering noise if I threw a rock at it. These wooden walls? Wouldn't take much effort to make a nice sizable hole in it with a chair. These champaign glasses? Just a quick swipe of the hand, and I can watch all the little fragments sparkling on the ground.

Is it really wrong for me to want to destroy it all? Is it really wrong for me to want to smash apart whatever illusions of safety I have? Is it really wrong to want to finally bend apart the bars of this hideous cage, and escape?

Is it really wrong for me to hate this existance where all I can do is hide rom my problems, from my fears?

I want to break something. If I can't destroy this horrible, wretched curse that's befallen me, let me destroy everything else.

Oh crap.

Dead.

The friend I moved in with is dead. I don't even know what happened to him, his heart just isn't beating. No signs of struggle, no wounds... nothing.

It's not safe here anymore, but... where now?

...?

"I've met you before, haven't I?"

"Huh?"

"Amadeus Von Heinrich... I don't know why, but that name sounds... familiar. Like an old friend."

"'Familiar like an old friend?' You need to stay away from the anime for a while, Chi."

"Hmmhm! Maybe that's true. But, still... It feels like I've met you before. A long time ago."

"I don't know, I don't quite remember you... Hehheh. Ironic, isn't it? The one time you remember something, I can't remember it at all?"

"Hmmhm! It's okay, I'm sure I'll figure it out!"

Then she gave me this big, warm smile, and...

Dare I say it?

Something about that smile seemed... familiar.

Shit.

A lot just happened.

Is anyone in or around San Diego, Point Loma in particular? I need you to email me about something.

What the hell?

The weirdest thing has been happening the past couple of nights.

Every night, around 3:00 AM, I hear someone banging on my window. At first, I thought it was just some delinquent kids throwing rocks at my apartment and went back to sleep, but...

After the first few days, I got fed up and decided to yell at them, and...

There was this girl there, just standing there banging on my window. She kinda looked like that one girl from The Ring, except older. Around my age.


The thing is, though, I live on the third floor, and have no balcony. There is nothing there for her to stand on.

I grabbed my gun and went over to the window to open it up and ask her who she was, and...

She just disappeared. Like magic.

She's been coming back every night, and the same thing happens. She bangs on the window, I piss myself, grab my gun, and open up the window... And she's gone.

What the hell? Am I hallucinating or something? What's going on?